The really solid thing that this essay does is offer lots of sentence variety. That i said you could use to kind of chart your sentence variety, what I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence variety of one of the body paragraphs if you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you. And you will see by taking a look at the many types while the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there’s lots of variety there. Additionally an advance is used by this essay vocabulary but it is not only advanced, it really is used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring does not aim in the middle regarding the problems schools that are facing a wider number of classes does by livening fascination with school up to graduation.’ Therefore we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance use of vocabulary very good language that is commendable. These are typical the reason why why this essay earned an 11 that will be in which you wish to ideally be scoring ten to 12 on the ACT writing.
Now let us take a look at sample essay number two.
Go ahead and go to the bonus materials and print it out. Again I’m going to begin with reading the first paragraph however it will likely be important for you really to have a tough copy on front of one to follow along. Alright, that one starts with ‘a problem that is major many high schools face is students failing to graduate, or dropping out before they have the possibility. High schools over the nation have attempted countless programs that are different processes to you will need to combat student’s failure, some proving more productive than the others. A aspire to learn and stay at school, something which not only getting help may do. in my experience, offering a wider variety of class options would do a better job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes’ So this one starts out quite similar to essay number one however, if you noticed that one only scored a seven. Therefore it is still within the half that is top a far cry through the 11 that the very first essay scored. Here we’ve got again an extremely strong position and knowledge of the task. This writer says ‘offering a wider variety of class options would do a more satisfactory job of promoting student success and merely offering free tutoring because the interest promotes the need to learn and remain at school.’ So we’ve got a posture, we’ve got reason, further more we have the development of a counter argument. But you can already infer even they would have scored much higher on the essay if you haven’t read the essay from this that this writer must not do a good job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise. So solid ‘task and position’ why don’t we see where it falls a little bit short.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘my school that is high really many students by offering peer tutors because learning from peers is more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who may be too frustrated that they can’t understand their classes and would like to drop out.’ Now the first thing I notice when I look at this is the wording is a bit confusing here and I also’m not really sure what this will be supposing because, honestly it is making tutoring seem like a really good thing. The positioning statement told me that this essay would definitely be arguing for a wider variety of classes. Which means this may be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short will it be doesn’t completely dismiss the counter claim, it leaves the reader wondering exactly what is this person proving. In order that’s the place that is first falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses ensures that students will still yet learn have some fun and start to become less stressed.’ Now this might be into the body that is second and also this could be the first time that the writer has introduced this notion of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it’s really really unclear where that links into the position that ‘a wider variety of classes is much better for learning.’ It focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it’s sort of predictable but that’s why it scores a seven rather than very up at the top of the scale that will be at the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who care about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to boost an active reference to the institution, having assemblies and events to advertise school spirit and many other factors are all important in promoting success.’ Now these are really great ideas and definitely on topic, but one might expect to see these ideas introduced in the introduction and then followed through to within the essay. However once you learn where this paragraph comes from could be the conclusion and that’s among the big no, no’s for that basic organization. You don’t introduce new ideas in the conclusion because all it does is serve to confuse the reader. These aren’t something that you have mentioned and none of one’s support relates to it. Which means this is just why this essay’s score is a bit that is little in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not merely getting help can do.’ This is one of the relative lines that really stuck out to me in reality it really is an element of the position statement that is one particular sentences that readers are really focused in on, if you are given your thesis or your position, they need it to be clear. And this wording is truly kind of confusing, I’m not sure what things are referring to, what the something is and it’s just a little bit awkward. So again we have kind of this awkward utilization of language which keeps this essay down in that range that is mid than shooting it as much as the higher range that presents a command of the language.
Alright the handful of pitfalls that this essay run into you want to make sure you avoid that we already have talked about and. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the relative line, ‘only students with a desire to boost will benefit from such a program.’ That is a jump that is big. To make certain that’s saying basically if I give tutoring to everybody when they do not whole heartedly desire to be there they are going to flat out fail. And I also genuinely believe that’s a leap that is really big flaw and logic. In addition gets a bit that is little, ‘The most crucial, though, is a student’s need to learn and to succeed;’ it simply goes on and on about this. And lastly we talked concerning this ‘basic organization’ not only do we have types of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked concerning the introduction of brand new ideas into the conclusion which really throws your reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap all of it up the seven indicators that your readers will be trying to find can be your ‘understanding of the duty,’ the ‘position’ you are taking, the ‘complexity’ with that you talk about the issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, the way you organized your thoughts and then the manner in which you deliver it together with your ‘sentence and word choice’ and your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we’ve taken a look at two essays, both were solid they scored within the half that is top clearly we see why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.
So now you need to attack the ACT writing section, I know you’re going to do great that you guys have college students buying essays the tools and the information.